Leaving the Nest

Leaving the nest is what children are supposed to do. A mother bird challenges her babies to venture out and spread their wings to gain confidence to fly on their own. When it comes to us humans, we do much the same, but it takes an emotional toll to let go and let them fly.

We recently moved our daughter three hours away to law school and it was not easy. She is not under our roof and the world can be a cruel and dangerous place. We hope we have done the best job to prepare her to feather her own nest. It’s a tough time of year for many parents who are dropping their kids off at college or a job away from home. Have we done the right things, did we teach them everything they need to know?

I think it’s good to think back about how you were at their age. What were you excited about, what made you sad, what motivated you? Chances are a mix of positive and negative emotions are swirling through their heads. This is a touchy time for communicating with your child. The best advice I have is let them call you. I know you want to connect in the morning and at night to make sure they are safely tucked in their beds, but let them make the first move. They are learning to navigate their days and constant checks-ups from mom and dad can chisel away at their confidence.

Brace yourself, they will slip up and make an occasional mistake, but didn’t you at that age? Anticipate that and think about your response. Before they leave have them make a monthly budget and talk it through with them. Put that amount in their account and let them figure out how to make it last through the month. Don’t micromanage their spending. Another tip, before loading the car or moving truck, don’t overbuy. We have a tendency as parents to overcompensate with things to send with our kids because we won’t be there. It’s good for them to figure out what they need and how to organize their life to help them live in a better way.

Leaving the nest doesn’t mean out of sight, out of mind these days. With our modern technology we can have face to face conversations via Facetime, Snapchat or other communication apps. Start the tradition of chatting with them this way before they leave. Add in some humor and words of support during these conversations. Good luck parents!